Boot camp for financial fuck-wits, and why I need to learn to drive a dump-truck...

One thing I've noticed about Paraburdoo is that it is very much a town on the make. Everyone here is working towards the day they leave, and making money is the name of the game. This sense of shared purpose is almost palpable here, there is no time for frills or fripperies, you get in, make your money, and get out.

This ethos is so at odds with the way DH and I have operated up til now -- money is made and wasted; if it comes in nice packaging I will most certainly buy it -- that in many ways this is the best place we could have come to; a financial boot camp if you will.

Chatting to just about anyone you meet goes something like this:

Me: 'So, how long do you intend to stay here?'

Person I've just met: (screws up face to mentally figure out how many years left on mortgage) 'Umm...I think about another two years at least.'

Nobody I've met intends to stay long term, but they won't leave until it's paid dividends.

This also means that many people I've met are working two jobs. What else is there to do? They will insist.

Haven't they heard of Facebook?

And no job is too menial or demeaning. The other day I casually mentioned to a new acquaintance that I was considering looking for a job:

New acquaintance: 'They're looking for people to wash cars out at the airport!'

Me: *unblinking stare* 

NA: 'It's good money!'

Me: 'Oh (you are actually serious?) I wasn't thinking anything too physical, you know...'

It has occurred to me that back in the low-fat-soy-latte-drinking-middle-class-real-world, we're very much obsessed not so much with what we earn, but how we earn it, or at least how we describe it. Nobody is just a Painter and Decorator anymore, they are a 'Colour distribution technologist'. And no self-respecting shop assistant would settle for anything less than a 'Customer experience enhancement consultant'. And in the chattering classes, nobody is ever unemployed, they are in the middle of a 'project', 'taking some personal time' or embarking on their own business start-up venture.

Here in Paraburdoo, there is no room for such affectation; it's all about the buck. I'd like to be part of this, but so far my only options seem to be the aforementioned car-washing job, or cleaning up after the men in the Rio Tinto accommodation. Call me a part-time-freelance-writery-person-who-rarely-gets-paid/full-time-not-very-good-at-it-domestic-engineer, but these options just aren't appealing.

I thought about starting a local newspaper, but honestly, apart from 'stray dog found on Ashburton Avenue', I can't think of what I might put in it (plus the town Facebook page has missing dogs covered). Of course I could write a very lively gossip column -- trust me, I really could -- but I don't think this would make me many friends. 

To be honest, in a town like Paraburdoo, if you want to make some cash your best option is to learn to drive a dump truck, and having a degree in anything other than mining is a waste of your time. I casually mentioned to DH that I might do a truck-driving course, how hard can it be? But he felt strongly that this was a very bad idea.

It's true that I can't reverse out of a tight spot without him yelling 'lock it hard, LOCK IT HARD!' repeatedly, and parallel parking and myself are as strangers, but to my mind it isn't a necessary life-skill, you'll always find another space a bit further away if you look hard enough. And besides, what does 'lock it hard' actually mean?

How hard could it be to parallel park this thing?

Yes it's odd in WA, but the more manual the position, the more money you earn. A trades person (or tradie) will never struggle to find a well paying job, but someone with a PhD might. In fact, I have a friend who's husband ditched a promising career in zoology to drive a drilling machine. That's WA for you!

Another thing I've noticed in WA in general (I'm not sure about the rest of Australia) and Paraburdoo in particular, is the way anyone who does anything vaguely manual must wear a navy and luminous yellow/orange uniform. From postman to rubbish collector, to council worker to senior architect, you must wear this costume. I briefly considered applying for an admin job in DH's office, but even the girl behind the desk is obliged to wear this unflattering get-up. Why, I wonder? Perhaps she's expected to wear a hard-hat to do the photocopying, after all, anything could go wrong...

Don't use the photocopier unless you are highly visible!

Having said that, DH is also obliged to wear this gear, and I for one am quite pleased about this since it saves me from the pangs of guilt I used to feel from my bed in the mornings, listening to him ironing his shirt before work...

Of course this is all in the name of safety (everyone knows that being a postman is one of the most dangerous jobs on the planet), and Paraburdoo is keen on its safety measures, although perhaps they are a little over-zealous? Many of the Rio Tinto bus-stops -- which service the mine and are dotted around the town -- bear the sign -

Seriously, if you need this sort of advice I'm surprised you've managed to put your shoes on the right feet, or indeed made it to the bus stop in the first place...