Warning: I get a little bit serious in this post but stay with me dear reader, I promise a return to trivial drivel next time...
They say the pen is mightier than the sword, but a keyboard is nothing against someone with a grudge (and just on that, if someone is coming at you wielding a samurai sword, I really don't think writing 'don't kill me' on a piece of paper is going to stop him in his murderous tracks).
To explain: someone recently posted a clip on an expat women’s chat forum, of a TV interview with an Imam in Yemen (or Qatar…somewhere in the middle east). In it he explains the rules surrounding the beating of ones wife. Believe it or not there are guidelines; no bones must be broken, blood must not be drawn and the stick must be of a certain width and length. He also went on to explain how this method of discipline can only be used in one specific circumstance: if said wife refuses to sleep with her husband. However, this must only be used as a last resort after all other avenues, such as threats, have been explored.
The clip sparked much debate on the forum: on the one side were the Western-educated feminists who voiced their disgust at the idea of women being beaten at all in this day and age, that such an activity was tantamount to marital rape and that it was time that countries such as Yemen moved into the modern age.
On the other side, Muslim women came in and argued that the translation of the TV show (which was in Arabic with English subtitles) was questionable, that it was extremist and circulated on the likes of You Tube purely to stir up anti-Islamic sentiment and that wife-beating was not part of the normal marriage contract in the average Muslim marriage.
Most agreed that both arguments had merit, and in fact weren’t mutually exclusive - and personally I didn’t doubt that the interview was designed purely to portray the Imam as an anachronistic, misogynistic dinosaur. And to this end it achieved its goal.
After reading several pages of debate on the chat forum I tired of the same argument spinning around and around and decided to post a comment myself- something along the lines of ‘it is ridiculous to base your life today, including how to go about beating your wife, on ancient scripture of dubious origins’ – a basic atheistic argument I think it is safe to say. My comment was belligerent and inflammatory but I was irked that the issue was being debated as if it were rational to begin with.
Following these comments I received a threatening message from one of the forum members – someone who had created a new identity purely to make these threats – along the lines of ‘I know who you are, I know your full name, I will report you to the UAE authorities for making such a statement unless you apologise and withdraw the comments’ along with some other accusatory words. The poster was called 'Hitch'* and I did wonder initially if it was some joker, cleverly using a nickname referring to the notorious atheist Christopher Hitchens, who was trying to spook me. It quickly became apparent that this was no joker.
I didn’t apologise for the comment, just for the offense caused to the individual; going on to paraphrase the famous quote that I respected this persons religion in the same way I respected his right to believe his wife was beautiful and his children brilliant; but I did remove the offending words, leaving just the gist of the argument on the thread. However, this wasn’t enough for this individual who later informed me that they had reported me to Etisalat, the main UAE communications provider, that I had brought this down on my own head and I deserved everything I got.
Belligerently I pointed out that Etisalat can’t even get e-Life to work in my house so I wasn’t going to get too upset! However, within a day my internet had stopped working and I’m sitting in Caffe Nero as I type.
Now, I have a big mouth and it has gotten me into trouble on more than one occasion, but this time I was genuinely thrown by the menacing tone of the messages sent by my accuser and the implicit threat contained within.
This individual obviously considered themselves devout and felt the need to defend their faith in the face of atheistic and (as they saw it) disrespectful comments. However, their threatening manner and nasty tone spoke, not of religious fervour and piety, but of intolerance and vindictiveness and a need to inflict a punishment on me for voicing my opinions. Since I make no secret of my identity on this forum, I was genuinely afraid of what this person was capable of.
As an atheist I have a problem with anyone using ancient scripts as a basis for modern life - growing up as a catholic taught me how hypocritical and arbitrary religion can be - it might not be a palatable opinion to many, but it is just my opinion and if it means I’ll burn in hell for all eternity, well, I’ll take my chances.
I’m not stupid; I understand the need to be careful with ones comments in a Muslim country. I understand the need to show respect where appropriate, but I do believe that a chat forum, this one in particular, where strong opinions are the norm and where people- mainly articulate and educated expats (along with a minority of interesting and educated locals and Muslims from neighbouring countries)- come to discuss everything from where to buy curtains to the great cultural and religious questions which inevitably present themselves as part of the thinking-expat life, is not the place to be policed.
Clearly if I were writing to a national newspaper these comments would not find themselves on to the pages, but a chat forum is for the entire world to see and can't be confined to just one geographical place, and to this end I feel that it should be free to voice opinions of all kinds as long as nobody is being hurt or exploited.
It could be argued that my words did hurt some of the members of the forum and to this I say -that is the beauty of a forum, members are free to express their hurt or annoyance by adding their own comment, by shooting down mine (and many of the members on the forum are more than capable of doing so and do regularly).
You can learn a lot from some of these discussions, as indeed I have during my two and half years in this country, but there is nothing to learn if we are all silenced for fear of offending or worse, being threatened by the authorities. And like me, there are many expat women here who aren't interested in a life consisting solely of manicures and champagne brunches, but who want to learn about the different cultures around them, and to ask questions, and yes, sometimes, disagree and give unpalatable opinions.
The experience has shaken me a little, made me think twice about what I say in the future (a wish granted to my accuser) and perhaps made me a little wiser. I’ve chosen to write about this on my blog because I didn’t want to pretend it didn't happen, because I know I made a mistake, because it’s a lesson learned and is one more reason to appreciate the country I come from -- however troubled at present -- where free speech and strong opinions are at the very core of who we are and won't be silenced by threats.
*Turns out this individual was a director of a prominent university in Abu Dhabi, one would wonder what he was doing trawling an expat women's forum in the first place.
They say the pen is mightier than the sword, but a keyboard is nothing against someone with a grudge (and just on that, if someone is coming at you wielding a samurai sword, I really don't think writing 'don't kill me' on a piece of paper is going to stop him in his murderous tracks).
To explain: someone recently posted a clip on an expat women’s chat forum, of a TV interview with an Imam in Yemen (or Qatar…somewhere in the middle east). In it he explains the rules surrounding the beating of ones wife. Believe it or not there are guidelines; no bones must be broken, blood must not be drawn and the stick must be of a certain width and length. He also went on to explain how this method of discipline can only be used in one specific circumstance: if said wife refuses to sleep with her husband. However, this must only be used as a last resort after all other avenues, such as threats, have been explored.
The clip sparked much debate on the forum: on the one side were the Western-educated feminists who voiced their disgust at the idea of women being beaten at all in this day and age, that such an activity was tantamount to marital rape and that it was time that countries such as Yemen moved into the modern age.
On the other side, Muslim women came in and argued that the translation of the TV show (which was in Arabic with English subtitles) was questionable, that it was extremist and circulated on the likes of You Tube purely to stir up anti-Islamic sentiment and that wife-beating was not part of the normal marriage contract in the average Muslim marriage.
Most agreed that both arguments had merit, and in fact weren’t mutually exclusive - and personally I didn’t doubt that the interview was designed purely to portray the Imam as an anachronistic, misogynistic dinosaur. And to this end it achieved its goal.
After reading several pages of debate on the chat forum I tired of the same argument spinning around and around and decided to post a comment myself- something along the lines of ‘it is ridiculous to base your life today, including how to go about beating your wife, on ancient scripture of dubious origins’ – a basic atheistic argument I think it is safe to say. My comment was belligerent and inflammatory but I was irked that the issue was being debated as if it were rational to begin with.
Following these comments I received a threatening message from one of the forum members – someone who had created a new identity purely to make these threats – along the lines of ‘I know who you are, I know your full name, I will report you to the UAE authorities for making such a statement unless you apologise and withdraw the comments’ along with some other accusatory words. The poster was called 'Hitch'* and I did wonder initially if it was some joker, cleverly using a nickname referring to the notorious atheist Christopher Hitchens, who was trying to spook me. It quickly became apparent that this was no joker.
I didn’t apologise for the comment, just for the offense caused to the individual; going on to paraphrase the famous quote that I respected this persons religion in the same way I respected his right to believe his wife was beautiful and his children brilliant; but I did remove the offending words, leaving just the gist of the argument on the thread. However, this wasn’t enough for this individual who later informed me that they had reported me to Etisalat, the main UAE communications provider, that I had brought this down on my own head and I deserved everything I got.
Belligerently I pointed out that Etisalat can’t even get e-Life to work in my house so I wasn’t going to get too upset! However, within a day my internet had stopped working and I’m sitting in Caffe Nero as I type.
Now, I have a big mouth and it has gotten me into trouble on more than one occasion, but this time I was genuinely thrown by the menacing tone of the messages sent by my accuser and the implicit threat contained within.
This individual obviously considered themselves devout and felt the need to defend their faith in the face of atheistic and (as they saw it) disrespectful comments. However, their threatening manner and nasty tone spoke, not of religious fervour and piety, but of intolerance and vindictiveness and a need to inflict a punishment on me for voicing my opinions. Since I make no secret of my identity on this forum, I was genuinely afraid of what this person was capable of.
As an atheist I have a problem with anyone using ancient scripts as a basis for modern life - growing up as a catholic taught me how hypocritical and arbitrary religion can be - it might not be a palatable opinion to many, but it is just my opinion and if it means I’ll burn in hell for all eternity, well, I’ll take my chances.
I’m not stupid; I understand the need to be careful with ones comments in a Muslim country. I understand the need to show respect where appropriate, but I do believe that a chat forum, this one in particular, where strong opinions are the norm and where people- mainly articulate and educated expats (along with a minority of interesting and educated locals and Muslims from neighbouring countries)- come to discuss everything from where to buy curtains to the great cultural and religious questions which inevitably present themselves as part of the thinking-expat life, is not the place to be policed.
Clearly if I were writing to a national newspaper these comments would not find themselves on to the pages, but a chat forum is for the entire world to see and can't be confined to just one geographical place, and to this end I feel that it should be free to voice opinions of all kinds as long as nobody is being hurt or exploited.
It could be argued that my words did hurt some of the members of the forum and to this I say -that is the beauty of a forum, members are free to express their hurt or annoyance by adding their own comment, by shooting down mine (and many of the members on the forum are more than capable of doing so and do regularly).
You can learn a lot from some of these discussions, as indeed I have during my two and half years in this country, but there is nothing to learn if we are all silenced for fear of offending or worse, being threatened by the authorities. And like me, there are many expat women here who aren't interested in a life consisting solely of manicures and champagne brunches, but who want to learn about the different cultures around them, and to ask questions, and yes, sometimes, disagree and give unpalatable opinions.
The experience has shaken me a little, made me think twice about what I say in the future (a wish granted to my accuser) and perhaps made me a little wiser. I’ve chosen to write about this on my blog because I didn’t want to pretend it didn't happen, because I know I made a mistake, because it’s a lesson learned and is one more reason to appreciate the country I come from -- however troubled at present -- where free speech and strong opinions are at the very core of who we are and won't be silenced by threats.
*Turns out this individual was a director of a prominent university in Abu Dhabi, one would wonder what he was doing trawling an expat women's forum in the first place.
Wow - a one day service from Etisalat! Amazing how quick they can respond when they want to?!
ReplyDeleteKeep up the good work!
Thanks Mr Pumpkin.... as always!! x
ReplyDelete