Why Glee is the solution to homophobia...

I remember my first Gay; he was up the hill in the Christian Brothers School, and I had a little crush on him. Of course I now realise why; he was engaging, charismatic and yes, slightly effeminate. He was also able to look a girl in the eye without kicking a stone, muttering 'fuck', and gobbing on the pavement. He wore nice clothes - actual colours and patterns -- in a time where such things were unheard of, and he had nice hair too....

You didn't get many gays back then. Well there was that odd-looking guy who worked in the Chemist and lived with his mother, but his gayness was never confirmed beyond the odd scurrilous whisper.

Gay happened on telly - Stephen in Dynasty was gay. Poor Stephen. But I can't think of another single case as I sit and type. It will come to me no doubt, but maybe not....

So when the boy from the CBS confided to my best friend that he was gay, it was big news. She of course immediately told me, with the impossible caveat that I couldn't tell my boyfriend.

OH COME ON!!!

Gayness was bigger than the news that someone had a bottle of Jameson for the Friday night bushing* session down at Westport house. Yeah, BIGGER than that! (classy days...)

I'm telling you this because I had a conversation with my daughter this morning which made me realise just how far we've come in twenty years, where the word 'gay' is no longer a noun, but an adjective.

Listening to the new Mika album, she asked 'is Mika gay?' to which I replied, ' I have no idea....perhaps he is, he's certainly good looking enough to be, and who can forget the yellow jeans? But I honestly don't know'. 

She brushed it off and went on with her toast.

It made me realise how unimportant these questions are these days. The conversation ranked just below 'what are we having for lunch?'

I will never forget how gutting it was to learn that Neil Tennant from the 'Pet Shop Boy's' was gay. 'Oh Neil', how COULD you - how CAN we marry now?' I wept, rending at my bosom.  'I am but a mere' -- I spat the word -- 'WOMAN!'

Andy Bell: Not exactly the marrying type....

By the time I discovered 'Erasure' were also gay, I was ready to give up on ever marrying a pop star, although with retrospect it shouldn't have come as any great shock, considering that red rubber cod-piece that Andy Bell wore on 'Top of the Pop's', while singing 'Give a little respect' in 1988.

So it really gladdens my heart to see young, straight, pop bands such as 'One Direction' frolicking on the beach in their videos, touseling each others hair affectionately in interviews, and giving each other man-hugs at every given chance. This generation of young men coming up are unafraid to show physical affection to each other, and that can only be a good thing.

A generation ago men only touched to briskly shake hands, and even then could hardly look each other in the eye. It wasn't until my father was terminally ill that my brothers started to hug him on saying hello or goodbye, and even then they'd fall into Gay jokes to pass it off.

Personally I think Glee -- the massively popular American musical comedy -- has done more in four seasons for the public perception of homosexuality, than twenty years of marches and legislation**, helping to shed the 'bloke-in-a-pair-of-pants-and-heels' image (of which there is nothing wrong of course although I think the very straight Eddie Izzard does it best) to a far more prosaic and mundane image. This is a good thing. It makes it more mainstream and less freak-show, as it should be.

So far we've had at least four leading gay roles, (Kurt, Blaine, Santana, Brittanny) and numerous Gay plot-lines, including the one where the bullying beef-cake Karofsky attempts suicide after rumours of his sexuality abound following a pass he makes at Kurt. This is resolved nicely at the end of the show by a rendition of 'What doesn't kill you make's you stronger' by the Troubletones. There is no crisis -- no matter how big or small -- that can't be fixed by a good cover version of a Kelly Clarkeson song. I've always said that.

And out of all the love story plot-lines in the show, it is the Blane/Kurt relationship which really keeps me watching. They are the most adorable couple in the show (and far less annoying than Rachel and Fin), and far more interesting, what with the double dose of boyishness and Kurt's falsetto. But I'm bias, I have a massive crush on Blaine, and yes, I know that's a pervy thing to say about a fake schoolboy -- but that's just where I'm at at the moment. It's a Germaine Greer thing....

But oh Blaine, as long as you wear the blazer, you can serenade me with 'When I get you alone' while I fold jumpers in the Gap any time. Any time at all. And I won't be angry if I get fired...promise...

Anyway, I think Ian McKellen, George Michael and Elton John should pool their cash and send a box set of Glee to every government struggling with the issue of same-sex marriage (and that's practically every one of them on the planet), from Canberra to Riyadh, Washington to Pyongyang. It might take some time, but no leader/ruler/insane dictator -- from Ahmadimejad to Kim Jong-un -- could possibly watch Kurt and Blaine sing 'Baby it's cold outside' for the Christmas Special and not want them to live happily ever after...

By jiminy, I think I've solved it...

* drinking from a bottle of spirits al fresco - away from the prying eyes of adults - because we couldn't afford the pub.
**It's pointed out that this is factually incorrect, but you get my gist...